Installing Mass Effect 3

1. DVD goes in drive
2. Installer for Origin comes up
3. What is this? Check install instructions.
4. Origin is some digital download malarkey. Apparently there is an install route for disc users and an install route for Origin users. I have a disc, I am a disc user. The instructions are very brief which is normally a good thing, but here it doesn't tell me how to install without this Origin thing.
5. There doesn't seem to be anything else to install. Okay, I'll install this Origin thing.
6. While I wait...
1. I've got some code thing for extra equipment. Why do I have to put the code in? Why can't I just get it with the game? Product differentiation rubbish. More choice for consumers blah blah blah resulting in a worse product/experience.
2. Much head scratching and trying to remember my username and password to log on to the Bioware thing. Look I have an (empty) profile. Why do I want to Social Network? I don't, I want to save the universe whilst flying around in my cool looking spaceship. This is a bigger thing to ask for than not to have to sign up to lots of rubbish, so why can I have a thing that lets me save the universe and not have a thing that stops me having to sign up to junk?
3. Code redeemed. Hurrah. I have some N7 kit. Hurrah?
4. More info... I need to login to Origin (aha! just as well that is installing then) and then.. .download stuff. It isn't on the CD. Did they not get around to finishing it in time so had to do it afterwards or something? It's two DVDs, you'd think they could squeeze it on somewhere. Possibly too many human-alien sex scenes taking up all the space. Hmmm. Hurry up and install.
7. Hurrah Origin installed.
8. Do I want you to tie into my Facebook and have a profile where random strangers can find me? No, no, no.
9. And now Origin is updating.
10. I waited a couple of days for this to come in the post and now I have to wait for stuff to download, sheesh.
11. Why is it cheaper to buy the physical thing anyway?
12. I'm still not clear whether I need Origin or why I would want it. What is it anyway?
13. Apparently Origin is  "The EA Store is now Origin, powered by EA. Origin is your new digital playground. It's where you go to find the best that EA has to offer." Right, they want to sell me stuff. I don't want this.
14. Origin Beta. I've paid good money for this! Why am I having a beta product foisted on me? Will they pay me for taking part in their testing and evaluation?
15. A window to enter a product code! Right... N7 swag code go!
16. Hmm. Enter code, click Next, get told about the N7 gear that the code is for, click Next, get told the code isn't valid. Stupid beta product. With your unclear purpose and utility.
17. There is an FAQ!
18. As predicted it didn't help. And despite giving me a specific error/exception, the link to the FAQ took me to a set of questions to find my specific issue. Hmm.
19. Whatever, close that window.
20. Right, I can redeem a product code. Not sure why... go go DVD installer! Pah. Okay, I'll try my serial number.
21. It says it is for a digital download or in-game content. It's neither, but I don't seem to have any other options to pursue.
22. Apparently it was a digital download or in-game content, because it likes the code and is showing me Mass Effect 3. Well, it is showing me a picture just like the DVD box I've already got.
23. I have successfully redeemed my product code! Please oh please just install now.
24. I have no option to install, only to download. Why why why? I have a DVD!
25. Apparently my N7 warfare gear is already installed however, I'm not sure that is true. Am I wrong? Is it lying to me? Do they really mean it is unlocked?
26. Trying DVD 2...
27. Look at you Origin store with your annoying advert transitions and you're not being Steam. Ha! Stupid divergent platforms.
28. Right, just a 2 GB zip file that won't open. *sigh*
29. Maybe if I click on download it'll give me an option to use my DVD that I have. It is crazy, but it might just work.
30. DVD back in drive..
31. A thought occurs to me: I'm now an Origin user. Granted, I'm a user against my will. But I'm still a user. Maybe the Origin user instructions are now relevant to me. Maybe they should have been clearer, something like this:
1. Disc user? Soon you will be converted to an Origin user! Read on to find out how this will be done to you.
2. A thought occurs: I wonder if 'they' will claim usage statistics in a people-use-our-service way when really it is ha-we-tricked-people-into-our-store (you know how people just love being tricked into stores)
32. Go go installer!
33. Yes, the Mass Effect 3 installer again. Install!
34. It appears to have opened Origin (well, brought it to the foreground)
35. I've clicked download. It really seems to want to download! Arrgh. I HAVE A DVD! TWO! TWO DVDs!
36. Maybe the kids today don't think they've got a finished product until they've downloaded lots of add ons and patches etc? Darn kids.
37. No of course I have not read the EULA.
38. It really is downloading. Arrgh.
39. Now watching videos on YouTube on how to install Mass Effect 3. Comedy.
40. Read some support Forum post about how you need to quit Origins and try again. AKA you have to install something you don't want and then stop using it so you can install the game.
41. My DVD drive appears to be choking on the DVD.
42. About 34 minutes into the install so far.
43. Some guy on the forum is pointing out that it might have been easier to get a pirate copy. Sad but possibly true.
44. Right, click Install! (third time lucky?)
45. Arrgh Origin has launched
46. Hmm, but it seems to be doing something with the installation. Now... is it downloading or coming off the DVD? It doesn't say. Poor feedback.
47. Click on an up arrow and get more info. It is downloading. Arrrgh. Cancel that download.
48. Close Origin
49. Damn, it is tucked away in the system tray. How rude.
50. Get annoyed, rather than close it from the system tray I'm gonna jab it good via Task Manager. Blimey, 90 MB of RAM for a glorified shop and installer thingy?
51. Process Tree Ended! That felt therapeutic.
52. Install! (4th time)
53. Origin launching...
54. Hurrah! A proper install dialog!
55. I don't really want it to create an Origin Games folder, but it seems pretty flaky so I don't want to mess with it. Why is the installation software a beta product? And wasn't Origin a publisher of games back in the day? Vague recollection of something to do with Wing Commander.
56. Yes yes yes of course I have read the EULA, I mean everyone does right?
57. It is installing. There is still no feedback from EA's software as to where it is getting the files, fortunately (!) I can tell by the DVD whirring noises.
58. Ah, 49 minutes and counting and it is at 4%
59. Tum tee tum....
60. Right, it has wanted the 2nd DVD for a little while but the dialog window telling me so is a) separate from the main install window with no prompts/info on the main window and b) appeared on the other monitor. It also didn't show up on the highest level, instead it hid behind Chrome though I'm not sure if I just missed it and brought Chrome forward by mistake. Not even some sort of signifier in the task tray. Tsk.
61. 1 hour 4 minutes. Second DVD in.
62. I'm hoping it isn't going to do that stupid/annoying thing where a) it requires you to have media in the drive to play and b) requires a different disc to the last one you used to install the software and never tells you. Wouldn't it be a little ridiculous if I have to use the DVD for a game that I can legitimately download?
63. It is finished and has told me it is ready to play, but now it is doing something else.
64. And now it has stopped. I don't know what it was installing.
65. 1 hour 10 minutes.
66. Fingers crossed to play...

I miss my Sega Megadrive. Open box. Take out cartridge. Stick in machine. Switch machine on. Play!